The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
Doug Larson
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
Doug Larson
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
Doug Larson
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
Doug Larson
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
Doug Larson
For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
Doug Larson
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
Doug Larson
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
Doug Larson
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
Doug Larson
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
Doug Larson
